This week's assignment was to taste something we've never tasted before and create something from it. After much thought on what to taste, I found myself at Buffalo Wild Wings and a menu full of wing sauce options before me. I usually get something I've had before or am familiar with. A little spice with a little sweet. But there was a new option that is around for a limited time called Honey Ginger Kick. I had to try it and after I was done and went home that night, I got my notebook and drew what It tasted too me and the images it conjured. Since it was very sweet from the honey, I drew a smiling bee but with a large stinger because of the spice. I didn't know how to draw a Ginger root so I drew a ginger (slur for a person with fair skin and red hair) who is looking anxiously at the bee because it is likely going to sting her. I did draw it in black ink so although it's not blatantly obvious she has red hair, she does.
What was the fear project and what was it about?
The fear presentation by Jennifer B probably hit me the hardest only becasue I can relate to her fear of rejection. She had everyone write down a time where we've felt rejected and a time when we've done the same towards someone else. I've felt rejected a lot in the dating scene because although I have had a fari number of "girlfriends," they never last longer than a few months and they break up with me for whatever reason. This has made trusting girls that show me any affection very difficult and any that do decide to date me, I have a mental clock that starts ticking until the inevidetable breakup occurs. On the flip side, I've noticed I compare every girl that ends up liking me to my exes and if thier appearence isn't similiar or better than one of them, I become an asshole so they won't like me anymore. Why did you respond to it so strongly? Like I said before, I relate to the topic very much. When thinking of my own fears prior to the presentations, rejection was one of them but I couldn't think of a creative way to present it. I think Jennifer had a very good presentaion for that fear and I couldn't have done it better myself. How does it impact how you see your own project and your own creative journey? It impacts my own creative journey by showing me that rejection is a part of everyone's life and even though I'll probably feel it many times in my future professional career, the important thing is that I pick myself up after and keep going forward regardless. In terms of my own project, I kind of wish I would've incorporated the rest of the class in mine by having people write down worse fears or bigger things going on in the world to put their own in perspective. Observe the reaction: The reaction I got from my poem was something I slightly expected to happen. I wanted to try to keep it light with a humorous intro/ending so that I could ease into the seriousness of what was being told and so that it didn't end on a sad note to show optimism in the message. I heard a few laughs at the beginning and end but I noticed a deafening silence during the serious parts.
Analysis of hypothesis with actual outcome: The reaction was very similar to what I predicted. Some laughter but mostly silence during the serious parts. Propose changes to your idea based on what happened: I kept it short because I didn't want to seem like I was bashing my family but if I were to do it again, I'd probably make it longer. I love my family despite our faults and just wanted to stay on track with just labeling a true fear they have, and then move on. I would however, had talked more about my faults to lengthen it up. Examine the situation: I am afraid of two things; public speaking and opening up. Without spoiling my experiment, I'll just say I'm going to try to touch on both of these because I feel like it's really hindering my creativity along with just personal life.
Hypothesize the expected outcome: I personally don't know how my classmates will react. They may be a little sad or laugh. The experiment is more for my development but I do hope it may inspire others to get over their fear. What is fear exactly? This is a question that I tried to answer by drawing the fears I possess without using any words. As a grown man, I've been taught by society that fear is irrational and to be strong is to have no fear. I've never liked this mentality and I feel like you can't move forward until you face what's holding you back (profound?).
Everything I drew is an actual fear of mine that I find myself feeling either daily or at certain times in my life. I was always scared of breaking the law because of my parents' jobs growing up so this meant no speeding in high school, drinking at parties when I was underage, and zero drink shenanigans once college started. I drew a jail cell to represent this fear. The empty bottle of alcohol is my fear of not having something that can take my mind off stressful times. This doesn't necessarily represent the drink itself but the social interaction it causes and fun times. The group of people in the back represent a big group of people that are all paying attention to me. I've always had the fear of public speaking or being around a lot of people I don't know. After I get to know people, I'm told I'm very outgoing and sociable but new people scare the shit out of me. I used to be very afraid of death, specifically close family and friends. I never quite figured out why but for some reason if I didn't hear from a friend or family that I knew was on a trip, my mind instantly went to horrific accident and it would make me anxious until I heard back from them. I was prescribed anti anxiety medicine for this among other reasons, and it helped but before, I would just sit next to my phone hoping they'd respond as soon as possible. The arrow pointed to the 3rd place podium represents the fear of failure in life. This means either not getting a successful career, disappointing my parents, or just never moving up in the world. The fear of being stagnate. I was unable to attend class on the 24th but it was my understanding that the Who are we projects were presented and the fear assignment was assigned. The first part of the fear assignment is to read Harold and the purple crayon and then draw without words, what we think fear is without using any words. I'm looking up the book right now and anticipate seeing what I come up with!
An artifact to me is something concrete. Something you can hold. the problem is that I don't feel complete yet so I went on a slightly different approach to this assignment. Instead, I created a house of cards because I feel like that is where I'm at right now. I am standing but where I'm at now and who I currently am, seems to change as I make my way through school. Playing cards also symbolize gambling, which I feel is close to me not only because I enjoy playing poker, but also seeing where unhealthy habits has taken my grandfather, and most likely father, I feel like my college lifestyle now is gambling with my health along with my schooling.
We watched a movie about an artist that went to Brazil to the largest landfill, I believe in the world, and met the "pickers" that lived and worked their. The artist took pictures of the workers in various poses and then with their help, recreated them using recyclables and dirt and then sold the prints. Overall, the movie really put a new perspective on the way we live, in terms of our wasteful nature and excessive need to appear upper class. They made a good point when Vik said that it is better to be happy and want more, than to be unhappy and want nothing.
The movie helped me realize that I should be grateful for what I have and to never look down on someone because of their job or "social status." It has helped towards figuring out who I am, and what am I doing. I was unable to go to class on the 3rd due to what was either food poisoning or a stomach bug interrupting my day yesterday. I was really looking forward to coming to class until my stomach had other plans. I have looked at the next assignment about making an artifact while thinking about why I'm here and who am I . I am excited at seeing what I come up with and why!
In terms of combining technology and media arts and science with the body, I'm all for it. I believe it's the next innovation in medicine that still greatly improve our standard of living and life longevity.
After seeing a few fellow classmates lists, I've noticed that a number of people shared my idea of burning the book. I think this says a lot about my generation and dealing with things we don't like. if all else fails, burn it. Ashes to ashes. My book has been altered by combing it with my bliss assignment. by sitting down and tearing out random pages and making paper airplanes. I used to make paper airplanes when I was a kid and try to build the farthest flying plane possible. doing this and forgetting about bills, homework, life for just a few hours and bringing out my inner child made for an enjoyable bliss assignment. |